tarayan sa opisina

isang meeting
sup: can you read this guys.. and explain each line....
........
sup: Selma can you please explain this statement....

selma: i dont understand... i cant explain it... ... its a common knowledge...

(inaantok si selma habang naka upo sa lapag)

sup: your sleepy selma... please listen first..
(tumayo si selma)
sup: why are you annoying us... your standing now...

selma: kaya nga tumayo kasi inaantok ako....

''taray ni ate kaya nyang sagutin si sup ng ganun...''
(take note ''common knowlege daw'')

selma: excuse me ill go to the cr..

sup: ok

(after 30 mins di pa bumabalik si selma)

sup: excuse me anu ihi nya isang drum? para abutin ng 30 mins...


============================================

Si Selma at si POC

POC: do you have a sale? can i have your update?

Selma: (sarcastic tone) wala.... is the a problem?

taraaaaaaaaay talaga to si selma wal nang makatalo..

============================================

Si Selma at si Katabi

(inaaway ni selma ang papel sa galit nya kay sup cguro at sabi nya masakit daw ulo nya...)

Katabi: 'tumatawa' twahahahahaha

Selma: anung nakakatawa dun

Katabi: ikaw kasi inaaway mo yung papel di naman lumalaban sau... ''baliw''

Selma: is there a problem masakit nga ulo ko.. gago kaba?

Katabi: tumahimik
(mas gago ka baliw pa inaaway yung papel..) tawahahahahaha

============================================

kamaldhitahan

Just want to share this old post from my blog site. I also grabbed this from someone who calls himself Lagalag. Anyway, it's time to laugh quietly at these kamalditahans!
Girls sharing their most maldita moments
1. On the first day of the Mango sale, the sister of my friend was looking
around and picked up a dress when a woman at the counter started
screaming,
"Put that down, that's mine!"
The sister of my friend looked up, looked at the woman up and down,
raised an eyebrow, and replied,
"Excuse me. You are NOT small'"
2. A supervisor once told a worker who has difficulty in understanding
instructions,
"Ang ulo, hindi lang yanpinapatong sa leeg, ginagamit din yan sa pagiisip."
3. A friend told another friend,
"Naku, magma-makeup muna ako, baka magmukha akong yaya mo."
The other friend replied,
"Wag na, magmumukha ka lang yaya ko na naka-makeup."
4. I told my then boyfriend during a fight,
"Even on your smartest day, you're not half as smart as I am on my
dumbest!"
5. "Ako, I was born beautiful. Ikaw, you were just born."
6. A letter posted on a car windshield in UP:
"Sir/madam, the parking space that we have reserved is for the College
Secretary, not for you. Guard."
7. When I saw a friend I haven't seen in a long time, she told me,
"Grabe, lalo ka pang tumaba!"
So I told her,
"Ikaw din, lalo ka pang pumangit!"
8. Pag sinisingitan ako sa pila, nagpaparinig ako. I say,
"Ang pilang ito, according to beauty. Mga panget muna."
9. From the movie She's The Man:
"Girls with an ass like mine don't go out with boys with a face like yours."
10. "Maliban sa mukha mo, ano pang problema mo?"
11. I once told an officemate who kept on bragging about her new shoes,
"Sale , right?"
12. I pointed a "7 items or less" sign to a clueless pasosyal at the
supermarket. She bitchily answered,
"I can read!" Sabay irap.
So I shot back with,
"I know, but can you count?"
13. "Tuwing nakikita kita, gusto ko mag-sorry sa eyes ko."
14. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be bitchy. It's an involuntary reaction
whenever I encounter ugly people."
15. Man: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not enter."
16. Man: "how do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
17.After receiving her pay slip and realizing how much she's paying for tax, a
sosyal officemate exclaimed,
"Ang mga poor ba nagbabayad din ng tax?"
18. During a hike at Mt. Mayon , we had a maarte companion. When we ran
out of water, our guide got us some from a natural spring.
The maarte girl said, "Dini-drink ba yan?"
I told her, "Bakit, sa inyo ba ang water chinu-chew?"
19. Overheard from 2 kids talking.
Kid 1: "Lahat tayo galing kay Adam and Eve."
Kid 2: "Hindi yan totoo. Sabi ng papa ko, galing tayo sa unggoy."
Kid 1: "Hindi natin pinag-uusapan ang pamilya mo, kaya wag kang
magulo!"
20. A friend told his officemate:
"I'm impressed.I've never encountered such a small mind inside such a
big head before."
21. Bading: (envying a girl na crush ng crush nya)
"Isang butas lang ang lamang mo sa kin!"
22. I was staring at an ugly bystander in their street. The ugly guy snapped,
"Bakit ang sama mo makatingin?"
I snapped back,
"Eh bakit ang sama mo tingnan?"
23. A friend once told me,
"Ang ganda mo!"
I answered:
"Thank you, sana ikaw rin."
24. I told this to an ex:
"I must admit you brought religion to my life.
I never believed in hell till I met you."
25. When a cashier tells me she doesn't have change, I say:
"And kaninong problema yun?"
26. "Kung lahat ng tao galing sa unggoy, bakit ikaw, mukha kang kabayo?"
27. I asked my mom about my cousin's suitor..
so ma, ano naman hitsura nya?
may mom replied "mukhang door"

TAWAHAHAHA......

CONDOM JOKE:

The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman.

She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn't sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, "Compared to what?"

She held up one finger and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."

Then she held up two fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."

Then she held up three fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm about that big."

She put the three fingers in her mouth and said, "You're a medium."

YEAR OF THE RABBITS

The Rabbit Rabbits are private individuals, a bit introverted and withdrawn. People e born into this sign would rather work behind-the-scenes instead of being the center of attention in any situation. Do not misunderstand…the Rabbit is not a recluse. In fact, he is a reasonably friendly individual who enjoys the company of a group of good friends whether at a business dinner or a holiday party. Rabbits just like to be a part of the gang as opposed to the leader of it. Years of the Rabbit Rabbit Years are fourth in the cycle, following Tiger Years, and recur every twelfth year. The Chinese New Year does not fall on a specific date, so it is essential to check the calendar to find the exact date on which each Rabbit Year actually begins. THE SIGN OF THE RABBIT Rabbits, like their animal counterparts, are quite calm people who do not exhibit aggressive behavior and will avoid confrontation at all costs. When angry about something, a Rabbit will approach it calmly and considerately, hardly ever raising his voice or becoming visibly annoyed. Because of their serenity, Rabbits seem to miss things, whether they are confrontational in nature or not. However, the Rabbit is quite keen and pays close attention to the situations developing around him. He is intelligent and quick and can talk himself in or out of most situations with no problem. The Chinese Rabbit is one of the most stylish creatures of the Chinese Animal Signs and finds interest in different cultures. He is classy and sophisticated, and can be found adorning one of the latest fashion magazine cover looks. Rabbits also like artistic ventures, such as painting and music and are generally quite present in these worlds. They love top express themselves, which is evident when joining them at home for a function or a cup of coffee. RABBIT FACTS: People born in the Year of the Rabbit share certain characteristics. The Rabbit Sign is an abbreviated way of characterizing that individual’s personality. Following are features associated with the Sign of the Rabbit. Fourth in order, Chinese name-TU, sign of peace Hour—5am-6:59am Month—March Western Counterpart—Pisces CHARCTERISTICS Keen, Wise, Fragile, Tranquil, Serene, Considerate, Fashionable, Sneaky, Obsessive IN YOUR ELEMENT The characteristics of the Rabbit are tempered by one of the five Chinese elements of Metal, Water, Wood, Fire and Earth overlaying a 5-year cycle of characteristics on the original 12-year cycle. THE METAL RABBIT 1951 AND 2011 Metal gives Rabbits a more resilient demeanor than the other more quiet Rabbit. These Rabbits are very ambitious and can be quite crafty in their dealings with others. They throw themselves and their emotions into everything they do, making them intense lovers, but not outwardly affectionate lovers. Their determination can affect their work as well, whether through personal relationships with colleagues or with the work itself, a Rabbit can be known to immerse himself in his projects…business and personal. THE WATER RABBIT 1903 AND 1963 Delicate and docile, Water Rabbits will pretty well go with the flow to avoid any conflict or argument. These situations hurt them and bother them because they are such sensitive creatures. They are usually sociable and relaxed, although sometimes they get withdrawn and introspective. They are supportive with family and friends as well as business partners and display an empathy that makes people flock to them for friendly advice and comfort. Sometimes, they can easily be taken advantage of because they are so generous with themselves and their emotions. So they have to be careful not to let their guards down so quickly. THE WOOD RABBIT 1915 AND 1975 Wood Rabbits tend to be the least bit indecisive. This is probably due to their always wanting to play the peacemaker and not wanting to hurt other people’s feelings. Wood Rabbits are incredibly generous souls and like to avoid the spotlight instead preferring to live amongst others. These people are always kind enough to help you move into a new house, make you a hot cup of coffee or to listen while you rant and rave about your latest character flaw. The Wood Rabbit can sometimes be too kind for his own good, thus causing him to be taken advantage of and sometimes even used by others unknowingly. Rabbits have to learn to say no and to out their feet down or their cups will overflow. THE FIRE RABBIT 1927 AND 1987 Fire adds an unspoken magnetism and mystery to the Rabbit. These creatures have a burning desire to get out there and live life to its fullest. They are active and adventurous and love anything that sparks their creativity or curiosity. They can throw tantrums here and there, if provoked, but most of the time they work very hard to avoid conflict or unpleasant confrontations. Fire Rabbits are charming and tend to push their emotions into the backs of their minds, but will speak up if necessary. THE EARTH RABBIT 1939 AND 1999 The Earth element gives these Rabbits a sense of reality and practicality that others don’t illustrate so freely. They are able to give sound advice, which in turn gets them respect and trust from those who solicit their counsel. They take pride in their homes and work diligently to make them a place of security for their loved ones. In the same breath, Earth Rabbits put a great deal of value on material comforts and like to make money. HEALTH AND HABITAT HEALTH Rabbits are apt to be sensitive to ailments and to have bad allergies. Stress or conflict will detriment the Rabbit’s health. Exercise could take off unnecessary stress and strengthen the Rabbit’s physical condition, but he tends not to work out regularly. Rabbits have to learn to incorporate more action into their everyday routines. AT HOME WITH THE RABBIT A Rabbit will become depressed and withdrawn if his home does not consist of beautiful possessions that make him comfortable. They are extremely organized and the best way to throw a Rabbit off is to remove something from its sitting place. They are so orderly and their homes and offices so clutter-free that it is sometimes a point of humor with their friends. Rabbits are modest in their decorating choices and choose different shades of green such as sages and turquoises. CAREER AND FINANCE THE RABBIT ON THE JOB Rabbits have really good communication skills and are best utilized in positions of management. They make great teachers and PR people because they are so diplomatic and well-organized. Even so, they can also make great painters or musicians due to their sense of beauty and their love of creativity. MONEY AND THE RABBIT Rabbit people are usually relatively careful when it comes to their finances. And that lucky rabbit foot didn’t just come out of nowhere…Rabbits are pretty lucky folks! They use much of their money for possessions such as their homes, cars or furniture. They would rather invest their money in gadgets and things than in the stock market. They love hunting for antiques, arts and crafts and will tend to make sound investments in these types of things. RABBIT CAREERS Those born in the Year of the Rabbit share the same kinds of goals and objectives in life. The occupations best suited for the Rabbit are listed below: RABBITS MAKE EXCELLENT: Therapists Psychiatrists Doctors Ophthalmologists Writers Masseurs Teachers Publishers Designers Actors Musicians Administrators PR agents Fashion designers CONGENIAL BUSINESS PARTNERS Whether Rabbits are compatible with their business partners depends on whether their signs are harmonious or antagonistic to those of their business partner. Considering the congruity of their own characters and the characters of their business partners can also be very useful. Rabbits ruled by Benefit From Are antagonistic to Metal Earth Sheep Fire Dragons Water Metal Dogs Earth Roosters Wood Water Rabbits Metal Horses Fire Wood Snakes Water Tigers Earth Fire Pigs Wood Monkeys Leisurely activities and pleasures LIKES AND DISLIKES Since Rabbits are born under the same Animal Sign, they often share likes and dislikes. Following are similar likes and dislikes of the Rabbit personality. Color Preference: Pale Green Gems and Stones: Crystal, Emerald, Pearl Suitable Gifts: Tapestry kit, CD, fine wine, easel, lyrics book Hobbies and Pastimes: Writing poetry, hiking, planting gardens and trees, chatting with friends Rabbits Dislike: Touchy-feely people, abrupt curves in their routines, disorganization THE RABBIT ON VACATION Rabbits love to indulge in different cultures and spend a lot of their lifetimes trying to find inner peace. Sensitive and careful by nature they would be just as happy shopping for hidden treasures at the local flea market or yard sale to display in their delicately decorated homes. Rabbits tend to want to travel to traditional places such as Europe and Asia when they have time off. In addition, taking a course to release their creative energies such as photography or instrument lessons would make the Rabbit feel well-rounded and accomplished. FRIENDS AND ENEMIES Rabbits, although outgoing, are definitely not the leaders of the pack or the spotlight thieves. They like to be associated with a group or a club, where they find comfort in the company of others. Rabbits just happen to be low-profile people. Perhaps this is because they tend to be rather picky about who they pal around with. Rabbits love their friends and offer them all a warm refuge and a sympathetic shoulder to cry on. They enjoy catching up and hanging out more than anything. Compatible Friends Best Friends: Sheep and Pigs Mortal Enemy: Roosters RABBIT PARENTS AND BABIES Many Rabbit people have large families. The Chinese say this is due, in part, to them being the sign of fertility. Despite the record-breaking number of children any Rabbit person may have, the happiness of his partner and family is essential to his own well-being. Although they love their children intensely and take care of them quite affectionately, sometimes Rabbit parents can come off as looking uninterested or distant. Still, Rabbits are so defending of their children that they often appear strict and overbearing. When their children are little, Rabbit parents will dress them in cute little outfits and will insist they act mild mannered and politely. Rabbits often find themselves wrapped around the tiny fingers of their kids and will do anything for them, too make them happy and to keep the peace. Rabbits despise arguing with their children, as conflict makes them quite uncomfortable, and they will avoid it at all costs. Rabbits will always be there for their children and will help them even as they grow and mature. They find themselves there for their kids throughout their lives. RABBIT INFANT AND CHILD Young Rabbits are very sensitive children. They tend to let their emotions get the best of them and will cry with no remorse. At school, these children often get teased for being so sensitive and become branded crybabies by other boys and girls. Rabbit children are especially close to their mothers and maintain a wonderfully close relationship with them throughout their lives. They depend on their mothers for advice and support and will reciprocate when necessary. Rabbit children are desperate for stability and routine and require a sort of scheduling to do their best work. Like the adult Rabbit, Rabbit children are likely to be quite interested in the arts, particularly in music, a subject in which most Rabbit children thrive. RABBIT PARENT/CHILD KINSHIPS Some parents immediately click with their children and others find they will never have a close relationship no matter how hard they try to make it happen. Following are the compatibility ratings between Rabbit parents and their children. Rabbits with Under the same roof Compatibility Rating Rat a bit of incongruity ** Ox pretty supportive ** Tiger conflicting views ** Rabbit very well-established **** Dragon creativity thrives *** Snake a solid, affectionate relationship **** Horse not much communication * Sheep easygoing **** Monkey a bit of restlessness *** Rooster argument-prone * Dog a deep commitment *** Pig stable and loving **** *uphill struggle **some complications ***easy bonding ****on the same wavelength Lovers and spouses THE RABBIT LOVER The Rabbit lover would never dream of wearing his heart on his sleeve. The Rabbit seems aloof, yet underneath is sensual and loving - a tough facade protects a tender interior. Rabbit folk are romantic yet realistic, generous yet mercenary. Rabbits are strongly Yin and, whether male or female, are in tune with the feminine part of their psyche. Their mothering instinct compels them to nurture others, and they have an innate love of home and family. MARRIAGE Rabbits are easily moved to tears through words, thoughts and actions. They are deeply sensitive people who shun conflict. Rabbits tend to be a little moody and are sometimes influenced by the friends they have. Despite their cool exterior, they have a reputation for being very sexual and intimate beings. Although they may go a little crazy in their youth, they will commit themselves readily to a partner for life. THE RABBIT LOVE PARTNER The Rabbit needs a partner who is affectionate and loving and who will pamper his mate a bit. A partner who shares the style and suave of the Rabbit will make a good lover for him as well. Chinese horoscopes are very specific about which partnerships have the potential to be successful in love and in business. Yet, though destiny can pint us in the right direction, we must still make all efforts to maintain loving relationships. Following is a brief description of how a Rabbit will affect a relationship with other Animal Signs. PARTNERS IN LOVE Rabbit*Rat The Rat will aggravate your nerves. Better steer clear. Rabbit*Ox Calm and quiet…your kind of romance. Rabbit*Tiger You’ll make a good duo. Rabbit*Rabbit Destined for success…same outlook and relaxed lifestyle will keep you both quite content. Rabbit*Dragon Your differences cold either drive you apart or make your bond that much stronger. Rabbit*Snake Intense romantic ideals and heated passions make this pairing exotic and exciting! Rabbit*Horse You can handle it…if you want to. Rabbit*Sheep You share love, affection, truth…you’ll be great for each other! Rabbit*Monkey You’ll probably end up hurting each other irreparably. Rabbit*Rooster You can’t stand each other…why risk romance? Rabbit*Dog You’ve got potential. Rabbit*Pig Absolute bliss. You’re good friends and great lovers. Love Partners at a Glance Rabbits with Tips on Togetherness Compatibility Rat too different * Ox caring and sensitive *** Tiger your differences make you closer *** Rabbit best of mates **** Dragon learn to compromise ** Snake intensely sexual *** Horse pretty hard ** Sheep heavenly **** Monkey don’t try * Rooster no way * Dog strong and healthy *** Pig shared understanding **** *dispute **keep working at it ***intense sexual attraction ****angelic EAST MEETS WEST ARIES RABBIT These people need their own space and will utilize their ambitious natures by changing career patterns and personal paths throughout their lives. They need to be in motion and motivate themselves through change. TAUREAN RABBIT These Rabbits measure their success in the acquisitions they have made. They like the stability and comfort of nice things and work hard to provide these luxuries to themselves and their families. GEMINI RABBIT These people love to talk and actually, unlike most Rabbits, like to be the center of attention. They make great friends and find talking stimulates them. CANCERIAN RABBIT These Rabbits find themselves in a tight relationship with their mothers. They are deeply sensitive individuals who are most at ease in the comforts of their own home. LEONINE RABBIT These people are extremely popular with others, partly due to their suave natures. They are outgoing, yet conditioned, and are one of the most confident of these combinations. VIRGO RABBIT These Rabbits are incredibly and almost annoyingly organized. They can be seen as anal, but trust they will never lose anything and will finish most nay project they start. They are a bit fussy about their neatness, but are some of the most efficient people you will ever meet. LIBRAN RABBIT Libran Rabbits are quite the sophisticated breed and love to be in the midst of a social situation. They play the part of the socially-aware quite convincingly. SCORPIO RABBIT These Rabbits are demure, and you never quite know what they’ll do next. They are creative and open-minded and you can find most working in the arts. Although they are relatively stand-offish at times, they carry with them a depth of character unbeknownst to most people. SAGITTARIAN RABBIT These are probably the most open-minded of the Rabbits finding comfort in just relaxing at home. They don’t get caught up in the sensitive characteristics of the normal Rabbit and would rather be a little less emotional and a lot more comfortable. CAPRICORN RABBIT These Rabbits thrive on promotions and raises at work. They work to see their efforts rewarded and take pride in their statuses and titles at work. They are loyal, handworkers, although not showy in their endeavors. AQUARIAN RABBIT These Rabbits love to learn new things and search for the answers to their own questions. They are gifted with imagination and determination. These individuals would rather be rich in knowledge than in possessions. PISCEAN RABBIT The Piscean Rabbit is quite a complex person. He is creative and will work best in relaxed, peaceful situations where his creativity can be explored and put to good measure.

JOKE TYM

i just saw this on the site i just wants to share it with you guys...

***
BOBBY: Dok, tuwing 6:00 AM, natatae ako!
DOK: Anong problema ro’n? Normal sa mga tao ang dumumi sa umaga.
BOBBY: Eh dok… 7:00 AM ako nagigising!
***
NANAY: Dok, ano po ang dapat kong gawin sa anak kong si Jojo? Mas yado pong maliit ang ari niya!
DOK: Simple lang po ‘yan. Pakainin ninyo ng hot cake tuwing umaga.
(KINABUKASAN…)
JOJO: Wow! Ang da ming hot cakes! Akin po lahat ‘to, ‘Nay?
NANAY: Oy! Dalawa lang ang sa ‘yo d’yan! ‘Yung walo, sa tatay mo!
***
REGGIE: Dok, ba’t pag umiinom ako ng softdrinks, sumasakit ang tiyan ko? Pag libre, hindi!
DOK: Normal lang ‘yan. Manipis ang atay mo pero makapal ang mukha mo!
***
ROBERT: Nakailang boyfriend ka na ba?
ELLA: Hmmnn… mga 50 na.
ROBERT: Ganu’n?! UNLI ka pala!
ELLA: Anong UNLI? Unlimited?
ROBERT: Hindi. Unlibog!
***
THE ‘S’ JOKE
Ako si Tetiyo Tatuman. Mintan, namatyal ako ta park.Na-meet ko itang girl. Wala pa raw tiyang atawa.
Tingle pa raw siya. Happy ako, kati, gutto ko ta girl ‘yung tingle pa.
Pero nagalit ang katama niyang bading. Tinuntok ako ta note. Matakit ang aking note!
Tabi ko, ‘Itutumbong kita!’
Tabi niya, ‘Tige, magtumbong ka nang magtumbong! Wala kang gawa kundi maniti nang maniti! Tingnan natin ta huli kung tino ang matititi! Nata huli ang pagtititi!’
***
DOMENG: Dok, bakit po dinugo ang asawa ko sa unang gabi namin eh dati naman siyang GRO.
DOK: (sinuri si misis) Wala po kayong dapat ika bahala. Natuklap lang po ang kalyo niya.
***
Nagse-sex ang mag-asawa…
MISTER: Hon, ba’t ang luwag na nito?!
MISIS: Pa’no, d’yan ko kinukuha minsan ang pambayad ng tubig, kuryente, baon ng mga bata, pagkain natin pati panigarilyo mo!
***
Nabunggo ng isang Pinoy ang isang egoy sa New York City…
EGOY: Hey, watch it!!! You muddafucka!!!
PINOY: Gago ito, ah?! Madafa ka rin sana! Ngongo!
***
Paano mo sasabihin sa isang girl na ang kili-kili niya ay maitim nang hindi siya masasaktan?
Ganito…
“Ganda… excuse me! Ano ang deodorant mo? Kiwi?!”
***

laugh trip

I just want to share funny pictures i saw today...


 ate pati ba kahoy pinapatulan mo?





 what a pig...



 ganun tlga aso kahit cinu nlng

Manhunt International 2010 Final results!

01 Australia, 02 Belgium


03 Bolivia, 04 Bosnia


05 Brazil, 06 Canada


07 China, 08 Colombia


09 Costa Rica, 10 Cuba


11 Czech Republic, 12 Denmark


13 England, 14 Germany


15 Gibraltar, 16 Greece


17 Hawaii, 18 Hong Kong


19 India, 20 Indonesia


21 Iran, 22 Japan


23 Korea, 24 Latvia


25 Lebanon, 26 Macau


27 Malaysia, 28 Malta


29 Mongolia, 30 Nepal



31 Nicaragua, 32 Pakistan


33 Panama, 34 Philippines


35 Poland, 36 Puerto Rico


37 Serbia, 38 Singapore


39 Slovak Republic, 40 South Africa


41 Spain, 42 Sri Lanka


43 Sweden, 44 Taiwan


45 Tanzania, 46 Thailand


47 Turkey, 48 USA


49 Venezuela, 50 Vietnam