isang meeting
sup: can you read this guys.. and explain each line....
........
sup: Selma can you please explain this statement....
selma: i dont understand... i cant explain it... ... its a common knowledge...
(inaantok si selma habang naka upo sa lapag)
sup: your sleepy selma... please listen first..
(tumayo si selma)
sup: why are you annoying us... your standing now...
selma: kaya nga tumayo kasi inaantok ako....
''taray ni ate kaya nyang sagutin si sup ng ganun...''
(take note ''common knowlege daw'')
selma: excuse me ill go to the cr..
sup: ok
(after 30 mins di pa bumabalik si selma)
sup: excuse me anu ihi nya isang drum? para abutin ng 30 mins...
============================================
Si Selma at si POC
POC: do you have a sale? can i have your update?
Selma: (sarcastic tone) wala.... is the a problem?
taraaaaaaaaay talaga to si selma wal nang makatalo..
============================================
Si Selma at si Katabi
(inaaway ni selma ang papel sa galit nya kay sup cguro at sabi nya masakit daw ulo nya...)
Katabi: 'tumatawa' twahahahahaha
Selma: anung nakakatawa dun
Katabi: ikaw kasi inaaway mo yung papel di naman lumalaban sau... ''baliw''
Selma: is there a problem masakit nga ulo ko.. gago kaba?
Katabi: tumahimik
(mas gago ka baliw pa inaaway yung papel..) tawahahahahaha
============================================
Friday, 4 February 2011
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
kamaldhitahan
Just want to share this old post from my blog site. I also grabbed this from someone who calls himself Lagalag. Anyway, it's time to laugh quietly at these kamalditahans!
Girls sharing their most maldita moments
1. On the first day of the Mango sale, the sister of my friend was looking
around and picked up a dress when a woman at the counter started
screaming,
"Put that down, that's mine!"
The sister of my friend looked up, looked at the woman up and down,
raised an eyebrow, and replied,
"Excuse me. You are NOT small'"
2. A supervisor once told a worker who has difficulty in understanding
instructions,
"Ang ulo, hindi lang yanpinapatong sa leeg, ginagamit din yan sa pagiisip."
3. A friend told another friend,
"Naku, magma-makeup muna ako, baka magmukha akong yaya mo."
The other friend replied,
"Wag na, magmumukha ka lang yaya ko na naka-makeup."
4. I told my then boyfriend during a fight,
"Even on your smartest day, you're not half as smart as I am on my
dumbest!"
5. "Ako, I was born beautiful. Ikaw, you were just born."
6. A letter posted on a car windshield in UP:
"Sir/madam, the parking space that we have reserved is for the College
Secretary, not for you. Guard."
7. When I saw a friend I haven't seen in a long time, she told me,
"Grabe, lalo ka pang tumaba!"
So I told her,
"Ikaw din, lalo ka pang pumangit!"
8. Pag sinisingitan ako sa pila, nagpaparinig ako. I say,
"Ang pilang ito, according to beauty. Mga panget muna."
9. From the movie She's The Man:
"Girls with an ass like mine don't go out with boys with a face like yours."
10. "Maliban sa mukha mo, ano pang problema mo?"
11. I once told an officemate who kept on bragging about her new shoes,
"Sale , right?"
12. I pointed a "7 items or less" sign to a clueless pasosyal at the
supermarket. She bitchily answered,
"I can read!" Sabay irap.
So I shot back with,
"I know, but can you count?"
13. "Tuwing nakikita kita, gusto ko mag-sorry sa eyes ko."
14. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be bitchy. It's an involuntary reaction
whenever I encounter ugly people."
15. Man: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not enter."
16. Man: "how do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
17.After receiving her pay slip and realizing how much she's paying for tax, a
sosyal officemate exclaimed,
"Ang mga poor ba nagbabayad din ng tax?"
18. During a hike at Mt. Mayon , we had a maarte companion. When we ran
out of water, our guide got us some from a natural spring.
The maarte girl said, "Dini-drink ba yan?"
I told her, "Bakit, sa inyo ba ang water chinu-chew?"
19. Overheard from 2 kids talking.
Kid 1: "Lahat tayo galing kay Adam and Eve."
Kid 2: "Hindi yan totoo. Sabi ng papa ko, galing tayo sa unggoy."
Kid 1: "Hindi natin pinag-uusapan ang pamilya mo, kaya wag kang
magulo!"
20. A friend told his officemate:
"I'm impressed.I've never encountered such a small mind inside such a
big head before."
21. Bading: (envying a girl na crush ng crush nya)
"Isang butas lang ang lamang mo sa kin!"
22. I was staring at an ugly bystander in their street. The ugly guy snapped,
"Bakit ang sama mo makatingin?"
I snapped back,
"Eh bakit ang sama mo tingnan?"
23. A friend once told me,
"Ang ganda mo!"
I answered:
"Thank you, sana ikaw rin."
24. I told this to an ex:
"I must admit you brought religion to my life.
I never believed in hell till I met you."
25. When a cashier tells me she doesn't have change, I say:
"And kaninong problema yun?"
26. "Kung lahat ng tao galing sa unggoy, bakit ikaw, mukha kang kabayo?"
27. I asked my mom about my cousin's suitor..
so ma, ano naman hitsura nya?
may mom replied "mukhang door"
Girls sharing their most maldita moments
1. On the first day of the Mango sale, the sister of my friend was looking
around and picked up a dress when a woman at the counter started
screaming,
"Put that down, that's mine!"
The sister of my friend looked up, looked at the woman up and down,
raised an eyebrow, and replied,
"Excuse me. You are NOT small'"
2. A supervisor once told a worker who has difficulty in understanding
instructions,
"Ang ulo, hindi lang yanpinapatong sa leeg, ginagamit din yan sa pagiisip."
3. A friend told another friend,
"Naku, magma-makeup muna ako, baka magmukha akong yaya mo."
The other friend replied,
"Wag na, magmumukha ka lang yaya ko na naka-makeup."
4. I told my then boyfriend during a fight,
"Even on your smartest day, you're not half as smart as I am on my
dumbest!"
5. "Ako, I was born beautiful. Ikaw, you were just born."
6. A letter posted on a car windshield in UP:
"Sir/madam, the parking space that we have reserved is for the College
Secretary, not for you. Guard."
7. When I saw a friend I haven't seen in a long time, she told me,
"Grabe, lalo ka pang tumaba!"
So I told her,
"Ikaw din, lalo ka pang pumangit!"
8. Pag sinisingitan ako sa pila, nagpaparinig ako. I say,
"Ang pilang ito, according to beauty. Mga panget muna."
9. From the movie She's The Man:
"Girls with an ass like mine don't go out with boys with a face like yours."
10. "Maliban sa mukha mo, ano pang problema mo?"
11. I once told an officemate who kept on bragging about her new shoes,
"Sale , right?"
12. I pointed a "7 items or less" sign to a clueless pasosyal at the
supermarket. She bitchily answered,
"I can read!" Sabay irap.
So I shot back with,
"I know, but can you count?"
13. "Tuwing nakikita kita, gusto ko mag-sorry sa eyes ko."
14. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be bitchy. It's an involuntary reaction
whenever I encounter ugly people."
15. Man: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not enter."
16. Man: "how do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
17.After receiving her pay slip and realizing how much she's paying for tax, a
sosyal officemate exclaimed,
"Ang mga poor ba nagbabayad din ng tax?"
18. During a hike at Mt. Mayon , we had a maarte companion. When we ran
out of water, our guide got us some from a natural spring.
The maarte girl said, "Dini-drink ba yan?"
I told her, "Bakit, sa inyo ba ang water chinu-chew?"
19. Overheard from 2 kids talking.
Kid 1: "Lahat tayo galing kay Adam and Eve."
Kid 2: "Hindi yan totoo. Sabi ng papa ko, galing tayo sa unggoy."
Kid 1: "Hindi natin pinag-uusapan ang pamilya mo, kaya wag kang
magulo!"
20. A friend told his officemate:
"I'm impressed.I've never encountered such a small mind inside such a
big head before."
21. Bading: (envying a girl na crush ng crush nya)
"Isang butas lang ang lamang mo sa kin!"
22. I was staring at an ugly bystander in their street. The ugly guy snapped,
"Bakit ang sama mo makatingin?"
I snapped back,
"Eh bakit ang sama mo tingnan?"
23. A friend once told me,
"Ang ganda mo!"
I answered:
"Thank you, sana ikaw rin."
24. I told this to an ex:
"I must admit you brought religion to my life.
I never believed in hell till I met you."
25. When a cashier tells me she doesn't have change, I say:
"And kaninong problema yun?"
26. "Kung lahat ng tao galing sa unggoy, bakit ikaw, mukha kang kabayo?"
27. I asked my mom about my cousin's suitor..
so ma, ano naman hitsura nya?
may mom replied "mukhang door"
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